


Pink

by tordarroch



Series: Colours [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Blackwatch Era, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Blackwatch Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Coming Untouched, Kissing, M/M, Massage, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Smoking, gabe can't get it up, jesse has nasty boxers, so a bit of stink kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 17:15:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10701507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tordarroch/pseuds/tordarroch
Summary: Gabriel's latest mission goes on longer than planned. When he returns, the stress he is under is too much. As usual, his source of relief is Jesse but this time, things go a little differently.





	Pink

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to [Orange](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9926522) for [Mar](http://offbrandkreuz.tumblr.com/). His art is amazing so be sure to check it out!

There was little light that could get into Gabriel Reye’s bedroom on the base. He liked it that way; had specifically chosen this room for that exact reason; had fought Jack for it when they had been promoted to higher ranks. The reason for literally throwing punches for the room? Well, it was simple for him for. When the lamps went out, the room was plunged into almost complete darkness. There was only one window, meaning it was the best room for solitude from the outside world. 

However, after the first night, he had quickly realised that the blind at the window was a centimetre too small, meaning a thin strip of light managed to wrangle its way in when the sky was clear and the moon heavy.

He hated this more than anything in the world, would stare at it until exhaustion took over his body and forced him to close his eyes and forget about it. He had tried to swap the room with Jack after that; tried to swap with Ana but no one had wanted it after he had declared it unfit for himself. He had tried to fix the blind but all he had received a slap on the wrist for trying to tamper with Overwatch property and a threat for them to remove the blind altogether. 

So yes, he hated his room; hated that blind; hated that window.

At least, that had been his mindset until a few months ago when he had discovered a positive side of the situation, and now he was here, reaping the benefits. He could no longer complain about the accidental light, didn’t bring it up during appraisals or casual conversations. No, now he loved that small strip of light for it showed him things he might otherwise miss. 

His tongue darted out to lick his dry lips as he watched the thin beam of illuminate Jesse McCree’s figure as he sat atop him, his jaw hung open as he rode Gabriel’s cock, frantic moans juttering out of his throat as his body moved; his form jerking.

Gabriel found himself in awe, staring at his sweat slicked body glistening under the dim light. He wasn’t sure what he had done in his life to deserve this kind of man; this kind of attention. 

Hell, deep down he knew he didn’t deserve Jesse; knew he couldn’t let this go any further than it already was. 

But whilst he thought this, he knew it had already gone on for far too long; that he had fallen for Jesse much more than he would ever care to admit to himself. He couldn't help it, the kid was insatiable. 

“Fuck Gabe, feels so good,” Jesse moaned, splaying his hands on Gabriel’s chest as he rocked himself on his dick, his thighs clenching around Gabriel’s body as the room filled with the sounds of skin against skin. “Gonna cum, can't hold back.”

Gabriel felt himself near his peak as he watched Jesse throw his head back, his profile glowing in the dim light and he found himself letting out a shaky breath, taken aback by how beautiful his protégé was. _His_ protégé. He always thought of Jesse as his. Always had; always would, no matter what would occur between them in the future. “Let go for me, Jesse.” 

He felt Jesse’s hands on his thighs, watched as he leaned back and rode out his orgasm, his cock bouncing as he released without touching himself. Just knowing that he was able to have this effect on the brat was enough to have him biting back a groan as he thrust up into Jesse's warmth, them both climaxing only moments apart in a hurricane of panting and moaning. 

“Goddamit it, Gabe,” Jesse whined, rocking slowly as he came down from his high, his hair stuck to his forehead and his breathing as erratic as he movements.”You drive me crazy, y’know?” He murmured as he ran hands over his chest, his fingers mindlessly stroking his own chest hair.

Really? He drove Jesse crazy? Here he was, lying on the bed with a man almost half his age on his dick, grinding down on him so hard that he might very well have lasting pelvic damage and he was the one that drove Jesse crazy? He couldn’t help but laugh. If only Jesse knew the things he did to Gabriel; if he knew how Gabriel truly felt.

But he didn’t, and Gabe wasn’t about to say anything. That was the end of that, in his mind. 

-

They had been relaxing in blissful silence for over ten minutes before Gabriel decided he needed to broach the conversation; needed to settle some things. He needed to put a line in the sand before someone’s feelings got hurt. Well… he knew there was no saving his own feelings here, but he might still be able to save Jesse some pain. They couldn’t be more than this; they could only share their bodies. That was it. That was all he could allow.  
“Look, Jesse, I-” The next word was cut off by the shrill sound of his phone ringing. Not just any phone. The mission phone. The one he had to answer no matter what. He could be doing life saving heart surgery and he would still have to answer it. Every time it had rang in the past, he had always been doing something important so why would now be any different? He tried to ignore it, wanted to get out the words on the tip of his tongue but he knew he couldn’t. Duty was literally calling. 

Grumbling under his breath, he rolled over, grabbing the phone from the nightstand as he climbed out of bed. Nothing good ever came from answering that phone. 

The voice on the other end of the line sounded irate, and he barely processed what it was saying until he realised it was Jack and not some random higher up. It was usually the director or someone equally as important. If it was Jack handling it, it probably meant that the higher ups were indisposed, which at 3am, was not a good sign.

“Yeah yeah, I’m moving. I’ll meet you in ten minutes. Conference room D,” he said before he threw the phone onto the bed, narrowly avoiding Jesse. “Right, get up, I gotta go,” he snapped as he grabbed his jeans from the headboard, pulling them on. He didn’t need to bother with boxers; knew he just needed to be there in some kind of clothes and that any mission that came from him answering that phone would require him to change again very soon anyway. 

“But boss, it’s so warm and comfy in here,” Jesse drawled and he rolled over into Gabriel’s spot, pushing his ass slightly in the air as he stretched out. 

Gabriel allowed his eyes a moment to linger on Jesse’s beautiful body once more before he grabbed the t-shirt draped on the lamp beside the bed. “Get. Up,” he spat as he pulled it on, wincing slightly as he felt a twinge in the back of his neck. He needed to put something under his head if he was going to insist on looking up at Jesse when he was on top. He couldn’t be dealing with aches and pains that he couldn’t explain to the others. 

“Alright, alright, hold yer horses,” Jesse grumbled, sliding out of the bed, his shamelessly naked form enough to make Gabriel hesitate for a second. He didn’t want to leave Jesse like this, didn’t want to kick him out. He wanted the other man to stay in his bed; in his arms. He wanted to do anything but his job right now. 

But whilst there were many reasons for him to stay in the bed with Jesse, there were just as many that said he had to leave.

He shook his head. He needed to stop thinking like that. Such emotions were a liability for him. 

Grabbing Jesse’s jeans from the ground, he shook them and held them out to the kid. “Put on your pants-wait, what the fuck are these?” he asked with a frown, peeling the boxers from inside Jesse’s jeans, a grimace on his face. They were... disgusting. He couldn’t tell what their original colour was, white maybe, but they were now an multitude of different ones, with holes and broken elastic, the fraying cotton looking like some kind of animal had made their nest in them.

Jesse stalked across the room, grabbing them from Gabriel’s hand with a huff, shoving his feet into the leg holes and pulling them up. “They’re my boxers, dipshit,” he said, gesturing down to them, clearly oblivious about how paper thin they were, clearly unaware that Gabriel could clearly see his cock through them, clearly blind to the fact that a large tuft of pubic hair stuck out through one of the holes.

“No, I meant… What the fuck, Jesse? They’re nasty. They’re probably growing their own cultures or some shit.”

“I ain’t got no others that I like. The ones you guys gave me are all weird and uncomfortable,” Jesse grumbled, reaching down into his boxers to adjust his cock and give himself a quick scratch. “They make my balls ache worse than you do.”

Gabriel felt his nose turn up as he watched Jesse, making a mental note to teach the brat proper hygiene practices when he got back. “Right…sure. I mean obviously it’s my fault that you’re filthy,” he uttered, shaking his head as he took the set of card keys near the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he continued, tapping the card against the panel next to the door, letting it open as he slipped his boots on. 

“Oh, will you now?” Jesse asked, still struggling to pull his shirt on as he sauntered closer to Gabriel, moving between him and the door. 

He wasn’t stupid, could tell he wanted a kiss goodbye and he could never deny Jesse anything. He didn’t even have to ask most of the time, he was just always willing to give it up. He leaned in, sliding his hands onto Jesse’s waist, pushing their bodies together as he tilted his head, his lips brushing over Jesse’s. “Mmm, yeah, I’ll meet you for breakfast,” he said against Jesse’s lips.

“You talkin’ ‘bout breakfast or _‘breakfast’_ because like, I’m real open to either suggestion,” Jesse mumbled in response, pushing against Gabriel as he parted his lips, his tongue sloppily finding its way into Gabriel’s mouth. Kissing was still not one of Jesse’s best skills, but there was time for him to learn, and whilst that tongue was always too much on the mouth, that enthusiasm worked so well elsewhere. 

He allowed the make out session to go on a little longer than usual, with Jesse letting out a long whine as he pulled away. He knew Jesse was hard again, he didn’t even have to see it or feel it to know that. The kid could get going from eye contact, after all, but he didn’t have time to deal with it. He let the door close behind Jesse, pushing him out and into the corridor. “See you in the morning, McCree.”

Jesse exhaled heavily, grumbling as he turned around with a wink. “Boss.”

-

Gabriel did not make breakfast. He heard his phone vibrating in the security box he had placed it in upon entering the conference room, but knew he wouldn’t be able to check it for some time. The way things were going, the briefings would last for hours. He knew this; Jack knew it, only he was certain that he was the only person in the room that regretted not wearing underwear. 

The matter at hand was private and of the utmost importance, apparently. They wanted the best, and Jack had put him forward for the job.

Yes, Jack thought he was the best, knew he was better than himself, but there was no way Jack would have put him forward for the job unless it was dirty. 

A quick look at the dossier and Gabriel knew instantly that there was no way the boy scout would have touched this. It needed someone with looser morals; someone who would get the job done no matter the cost.

It needed him.

-

“You missed breakfast,” came the slow drawl from behind him, followed by a cloud of smoke and a snort. “An’ dinner, an’ a night of fuckin’. Oh, breakfast again, lunch…”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Gabriel grumbled, irritated as he turned to look at Jesse. “I’ve been busy.” 

He knew he didn’t have to explain himself to Jesse, knew that the kid had an idea of the workload he constantly had shoved on him but he felt he owed him something. He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he lowered the tablet in his hand, the bright light of the screen finally getting to him after staring at it for hours on end. He had come outside for a break; for a moment of solace but he found himself unable to leave his work at his desk. 

“Mhm, I know. I waited for you, y’know?” Jesse voice was soft and he relaxed instantly as he felt a set of arms slide around his waist, a chin resting on his shoulder. The smoke from Jesse’s cigarette irritated his nose; burned his eyes but he found it reassuring more than annoying. That smell; that sensation was something he associated with the brat and it was comforting. It felt like home.

He let out a small sigh, leaning back into Jesse’s body. “Did your toast get cold?” He asked, a coy smile on his lips. 

“Ain’t talkin’ ‘bout breakfast,” Jesse mumbled, reaching up Gabriel’s chest, his hand lingering for a moment before it removed the cigarette from his own lips and flicked it to the side. “ Last night. I waited for you in your room. I was all naked and spread open nice and wide for you an’ I was left there like a fool. I ended up just rolling around in your scent, fuckin’ your pillow. Ain’t as good as your body, a little too soft, but it did the job, I guess.”

Gabriel shook his head, a low chuckle escaping his throat. “You’re too much,” he admitted as he turned around in Jesse’s arms, facing him with a smirk on his face. 

“I’m pretty certain I’m the one that says that, y’know?” Jesse said, his tongue lingering on his lower lip as he spoke and Gabriel found himself staring; his eyes drawn to Jesse’s mouth. The things he had done to that mouth; the things he had yet to let it do to him. He adored that mouth, loved everything that came out of it. 

He found himself leaning in, breathing heavily as he raised his arms and settled them around Jesse’s neck, pressing their bodies together. He wanted contact; not of the sexual kind either. He just wanted to be close to Jesse; his Jesse. Resting his forehead against Jesse’s, he let out a small sigh. “Look, I gotta go away… just for a week,” he mumbled, his thumbs rubbing the back of Jesse’s neck. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Jesse let out a small whine, pushing against him. “You ain’t never gone away since… y’know, we became… fuck buddies…fuck colleagues? Well, we fuck...” He spoke with his thick drawl, a small laugh punctuating the end of his sentence and Gabriel scoffed slightly. 

“Shut up, Jesse,” he mumbled, tilting his head just enough to press their lips together. A chaste kiss, uncharacteristic for both of them but they both shook ever so slightly as their lips touched. Gabriel knew that there were so many things neither one of them had said. Jesse had tried to get things out of him and he had always been so unwilling to provide any kind of verbal reassurance. On the other hand, he had tried to get Jesse to grow up and take life seriously, but Jesse had been just as reluctant.

So this is where they were left, together with the weight of a thousand unspoken words heavy on their shoulders.

“I’ll be on radio silence the entire time so I’m trusting you to behave,” Gabriel whispered as he pulled back just enough to look at Jesse’s face, to burn the image into his mind. 

“Right… so I shouldn’t suck Jack’s dick then?” Jesse asked with a playful tone, his lips gravitating to Gabriel’s cheek and he allowed it, allowed the kid to kiss him along his scars. He had never told Jesse how he got them, no matter how many times he had asked. He wanted to keep information to himself just in case things ever got stale and he had to entertain the brat. He was always prepared for everything that might come up even if it was simply delaying the inevitable.

“Not unless you gotta,” he replied with a light chuckle, splaying his hands as he pushed them down Jesse’s back, pulling him closer, relishing the way Jesse’s lips moved down his cheek and onto his jaw, his nose burying itself in his stubble and inhaling. He knew Jesse liked his scent; always remarked that he smelt just how a man should smell, whatever the hell that meant. He always learnt to take that kind of thing as a compliment when Jesse said it. The kid had a strange way with words. 

Jesse dived into the crook of his neck, his lips practically attacking the column and he wanted to tell him to calm down, warn him that they were in a place where they could be discovered but he didn’t have the heart to. This would probably be their last moment together before he had to go away, even if it was only for a week. He knew he couldn’t verbally tell Jesse what this meant to him, but physically? He could show him, he never had a problem expressing himself with his body. 

However, as soon as he felt his body heat up, a familiar hum came from behind him, followed by a shrill ringing. Jesse seemed disinterested in the noise, seemed to be able to ignore it but Gabe couldn’t. No matter what, his body wouldn’t allow him to relax until he checked it. 

Sighing heavily, he reached behind himself, his fingertips grazing the surface as he searched for his phone. Tablet, clipboard… With a small fumble, he managed to locate it and raise it to his ear, letting out a puff of warm air as he accepted the call. He thought Jesse would stop, but his hands and mouth were as insistent as ever. 

“Reyes,” he grumbled, shaking his head as the voice on the other end began speaking and as soon as it started, he stopped. As the rough voice on the other end started barking orders and locations at him, the arousal that had been bubbling up quickly fizzled out and he found himself pushing Jesse away and covering his other ear to hear the man on the other end of the line. 

By the time he had finished his conversation, Jesse had slumped down on the floor and lit another cigarette. 

“Look, I really got to-”

Jesse waved his hand, tilting his head back and exhaling smoke towards the sky. “Get back to work? Yeah, I get it. I’ll talk to you later, boss.”

Gabriel took in a deep breath, swallowing hard as he looked at the tired look on Jesse’s face. This was one of the things he wanted to avoid; the constant disappointment. Jesse could understand his job, could know exactly what it entailed but having to deal with it was a whole different story. He had never managed to work a relationship around his job, and trying to work one out with a guy like Jesse? 

He shook his head and picked up his tablet again. It would never work out. 

“I’ll find you before I leave, okay?”

Jesse shrugged and kicked at the ground with his heel. “Sure thing.”

-

The dropship was waiting for him to board but he couldn’t leave yet. He had bought himself some time by insisting that the pilot checked the engine again because he didn’t want it to ‘fuck up again like last time’ even though he had never been on one that had experienced engine failure. 

He just… he couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Jesse. Clutching a small parcel in his hand, he looked back and forth, trying to find him in his line of vision. 

“Commander Reyes, we’ve carried out the-”

Gabriel snapped around, glaring at the pilot, a helmet and heavy jumpsuit hiding any distinguishing features. All he could see was the name ‘Thomas’ embroidered on their chest, but whether that was a first or last name, Gabriel didn’t know or really care. 

“Check the provisions again,” he mumbled, glaring at the pilot. 

“But sir-”

“I said check the fucking provisions,” he hissed, squinting at the pilot as he took a step towards him. “And when I say check the fucking provisions I mean exactly that. I want you to-”

“He wants you to go in there and get the engine warmed up. He won’t be a second,” came a low drawl, interrupting Gabriel in the best way for the pilot. His anger instantly dissipated and he was sedated suddenly, nodding at the pilot as he turned around to look at the man he had been waiting for. “I got your message,” Jesse said with a smile, tilting his hat up enough to let Gabriel see his face. 

He never got tired of that face; had memorised every feature. He could stare into Jesse’s eyes forever, their bleakness comforting to him. They were tired, something Gabriel could relate to, and the deep brown of them was familiar. Shadows had always been his friend; darkness one of his favourite companions. 

“I got you something,” he managed to say finally, cocking his head to the side as he held out the package in his hand.

“Really? For lil’ ol me?” Jesse said with a grin, grabbing the package and ripping the brown paper from it, discarding it on the floor as he held up the gift. “Shit Gabe, you gettin’ me all emotional. You actually listened to me!” He declared as he pulled open the box and tugged out a pair of the brightest pink boxers Gabriel could procure. 

Three pairs, but the other two remained in the box as Jesse shoved it under his arm and held the boxers up to his waist, swaying his hips slightly. The other two pairs were a more subtle shade of pink; a pastel pink and a rose pink but of course Jesse would go straight for the flamingo pink ones. 

“Can it, kid,” he grumbled, rubbing his facial hair as he watched Jesse parade the boxers around, his hips moving from side to side as he modelled them for Gabriel. “You’re not supposed to actually like them.”

Jesse rolled his eyes, pulling the box from under his arm to put them back away. “Ah quiet old man,” Jesse said with a smirk. “I’m gonna save these, give you a special show of them when you get back. You can decide which ones suit me best.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, pursing his lips. “You’re an idiot. They’re a joke. I’ll buy you some black ones when I get back,” he uttered, taking a step towards Jesse. 

“Nuh uh, pink’s my favourite colour so I’m keepin’ these,” he mumbled in response, licking his lips as he leaned in towards Gabriel. 

“Whatever, Jesse,” Gabriel sighed, changing the subject and quickly glancing over his shoulder. The coast was clear for now. Not waiting any longer, he leaned in and pressed his lips against Jesse’s, exhaling through his nose as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss, his hands sliding to Jesse’s waist but before he could pull him close, Jesse’s hands were pushing him away. 

“Boss, the pilot…” He mumbled, nodding over Gabriel’s shoulder. “He could see us.”

Gabriel let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair as he looked around them. “Yeah, I know. You’re right. Just... “ He paused and looked at Jesse, who was simply standing there, a slightly goofy expression on his face, the same he always had around Gabriel. He knew the kid idolised him; put him on a pedestal. He wished he didn’t though, would give anything for him to just see him as the flawed human being he was. 

He took in a deep breath, bending down to pick up the small holdall by his ankle. “I’ll be back in a week. Don’t get in too much trouble, okay?”

Jesse reached up and took his hat off, holding it to his chest with a grin and a wink. “I’ll see you real soon, sir.”

-

It was over two months before Gabriel set foot back on base. 

Actually, it was two months, three days and thirteen hours, not that he had been counting or anything. No. He had no reason to be counting down the hours until he returned to base. No reason to be counting the minutes, which happened to be forty six. Or the seconds.

Okay, he didn’t know the seconds, he wasn’t that anal about how much time had transpired. 

Despite all the work he had already done, he was still swamped. Being on the field for two more months than planned tended to cause a backlog to accumulate. Stepping foot into his office had been a mistake. He should have gone back to his room first, maybe gone to the canteen and grabbed a snack but no, he’d thought it logical to pop by his office, grab some files to read over before he tried to relax. 

He managed to open his door with only a small amount of difficulty. A number of files were stuck underneath, which was more annoying than anything else, but he could see why they had taken to just shoving the files under his door. HIs out tray was overflowing with envelopes and packages that most likely contained drives with files on them. He could tell that at some point, someone, presumably Jack, had been in to try and organise the documents that were dropped off, but the mission had gone on longer than anyone had anticipated and Jack had his own work to do.

He couldn’t blame him for this.

Well, not entirely. 

Barely a second had passed before the phone on his desk rang. Gathering the files on the floor, he trudged across, shoving the paper from his work surface before he fumbled with the phone, holding it to his ear. “Reyes,” he croaked out, shaking his head as he glanced around at all the things on his desk. To think, he had been happily treading water in regards to paperwork before leaving. 

It was all bullshit. He didn’t get into all this to do paperwork. 

Sighing into the phone, he found himself ignoring most of what the person on the other end was saying. It wasn’t anyone important, an assistant to an important person, passing on a message they didn’t understand that Gabriel was supposed to understand. The problem was, he was tired and very little was making sense. 

“Can you just… repeat… the code for the file…” He uttered, grabbing a pen and taking down the series of numbers and letters. Before he clarified what file the code was associated with, a dial tone rang out and he found himself slamming the phone down in annoyance before he threw the pen in his hand across the room. 

Rubbing his chin, he shook his head, stomping around the desk to take a seat in the only piece of furniture that didn’t have a stack of work on it. He reclined slightly, closing his eyes and pressing the pads of his thumbs against his lids. The door made a noise, but he ignored it. The phone started ringing again, but he ignored it. He just wanted a moment of silence. 

Just a moment alone to himself. 

-

Gabriel woke up slowly, still groggy and confused by the time he opened his eyes and realised why there was a weight in his lap that wasn’t there before. As his eyes focused, he managed to make out the form sitting pretty in his lap. 

“Jesse, what are you doing in here?” he mumbled, yawning as he glanced over at the clock on his wall. He’d been out for about half an hour but it felt like the best sleep he’d had in a long time. Still, the nap hadn’t changed his situation; he was still drowning in work and not even the additional extra that was Jesse McCree in his lap could ease that burden. 

“Mmm, heard you were back, so I wanted to investigate,” Jesse said with a smile, adjusting himself on Gabriel, his knees suddenly on either side of Gabriel’s thighs. He shifted in a way that pushed his body forward, Gabriel’s gaze instantly drawn to the snakelike movement of his body as he settled down again. 

It had been two months. Two months without this brat driving him wild and he would have been lying if he said he hadn’t thought about him. He couldn’t lie to himself, and if Jesse asked, he wouldn’t be able to lie to him either. He had thought about him every free moment he had. Fuck, he had thought about him even when he shouldn’t have been; when the mission had technically required his whole attention. The smallest things reminded him of Jesse, it was impossible to get away from him.

“Why didn’t you come and find me?”

Jesse looked at him with sad eyes, the kind that made Gabriel’s gut churn. He had wanted to, that had been his first thought but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It had been longer than planned, he felt guilty and deep down, there was the fear that in the time he had been gone, he had been replaced. 

“I had a lot to take care of,” Gabriel replied, his voice low as he avoided eye contact, instead turning his attention to Jesse’s body. That yearning he had felt during their time apart was only amplified now that he was so close yet clearly there was some kind of conversation stopping him from getting what he desired. So, he settled his hands on Jesse’s thighs, rubbing slowly as he willed himself to look up. 

“I get that, but I shoulda been at the top of your list. Kinda hurts when you do shit like that, y’know?” Jesse grumbled, shifting slightly before he shot Gabriel a grin. “But I can’t stay mad at you on account of the fact that I been a good boy the entire time. I only used my hand an’ I didn’t fuck nothin’ else or no-one so I’m ready to fuckin’ burst jus’ from lookin’ at you.”

Gabriel should have felt flattered, should have felt the familiar rush he normally did but it fell flat on him. He knew he looked as tired as he felt, so believing Jesse required a little bit too much effort and Jesse probably knew that; could see it on his face. However, he could never say no to his protégé so wherever he wanted to take this, Gabriel would allow it and would happily participate. He just hoped it didn’t require too much energy. 

“You don’t mind if I just go ahead and get started, d’ya?” Jessed asked with a grin, rolling his body slightly in Gabriel’s lap, and all he could do in response was shrug and let out a weak laugh. 

As usual, Jesse showed little shame in diving straight for Gabriel’s belt as soon as he had slid from his lap to the ground. It never seemed to occur to him to be coy, something Gabriel appreciated right now. He could barely keep his eyes open, and he knew he would have probably fallen asleep during any kind of foreplay. 

Jesse’s hands had just fished his cock from his boxers when his phone rang again. He had to take the call, couldn’t avoid it but Jesse made no hint of stopping as he started to pump lightly on his dick, his mouth finding the tip to suck as he adjusted himself to get started. 

Gabriel found himself rolling his eyes as he reached over and grabbed the phone, trying to allow himself to feel the pleasure Jesse was providing. It felt good after two months of nothing but his hand, however, as soon as he heard the voice on the other end of the line, he felt himself flagging before it had even begun. Jesse’s tongue continued to explore him in an almost desperate way as Gabriel grumbled into the phone, taking the abuse from the person on the other end. Mission intel wasn’t right; failure all round. Repercussions and penalties. 

The words meant nothing to Gabriel in his exhausted state and he found himself sighing heavily as the conversation trailed off. The only thing that brought him back to reality was the loud bang that came from the person on the other end slamming the phone down. He hadn’t even been paying attention to Jesse, had almost forgotten he was sucking his soft dick.

“Boss, are you-”

“Cram it. Seriously, just…” Gabriel exhaled heavily, getting to his feet as he stuffed his still flaccid cock back into his pants. “I can’t… I’m not in the mood. Stress and bullshit. Just…” He stepped over Jesse, grumbling to himself as he moved to the plant in the corner of the room. Dead. _Guess no one bothered to water it_ , he thought to himself before he turned back to look at Jesse. “It isn’t you.”

After scrambling to his feet, Jesse perched himself on the edge of the desk and pulled out a cigarette, letting out a small laugh as he lit up. “I know it ain’t, I mean, have you taken a good look at me?” He asked, gesturing to his body and Gabriel found himself looking despite the fact he knew every inch of Jesse’s body like the back of his own hand. And yet, as he gazed upon him, he found himself a little lost. It had only been two months, and yet Jesse seemed bigger, bulkier. Still wasn’t wearing clothes that fit him, but there was something unfamiliar. 

“Can we just take a rain check on all this?” 

Jesse shrugged, blowing smoke from the side of his mouth before he spoke. “Unless you wanna talk ‘bout stuff? Like, we don’t gotta fuck jus’ ‘cause we’re together. We can talk, y’know? Like-”

“Jesse, please. I’m really not in the mood to go through all this right now. Can you just leave me alone? I have a lot to do and I’m fucking exhausted.”

Jesse pushed himself off the desk, tapping the ash from the end of his cigarette onto Gabriel’s desk. He may have changed slightly physically, but he hadn’t learnt any manners in the two months. “I’m gonna let this attitude slide, on account of you bein’ clearly tired but y’know, you can’t run away from these conversations all the time an’ you can’t keep pushin’ me away one minute and then begging for me the next.”

“I know,” Gabriel mumbled, looking down at his feet. He wanted to have a conversation with Jesse that didn’t revolve around them fucking, but every time Jesse was the one that initiated it, he just instinctively shut it down, and of course, Jesse barely let him get a word in edgeways so bringing up the conversation himself was never really an option. “Thanks for understanding. Don’t tell anyone… about this.”

“Tsch, like I would tell anyone that I failed to get a man hard. Like that looks worse for me than it does for you, believe me.”

 

-

 

Steam poured out of the shower by the time Gabriel was done with it. He didn’t know how long he had been in there, but the entire bathroom looked like a sauna. His body had ached with need after being denied a hot shower for so long and it took him a while to realise that yes, he was alone and yes, he could spend as long as he wanted in there.

Still, it hadn’t helped his other problem. His dick was a little sore from the way he had been yanking it, desperately trying to get hard. His asshole throbbed from the way he had hurriedly shoved fingers inside, trying to arouse something inside himself. As he stretched himself open, he had felt a slight twang of interest run through his body, but it had resulted in a semi that had disappeared before he could have tried to make it anything more than that. 

Wrapping a towel around his waist, he padded back into his bedroom, a bleak look on his face as he glanced around. Everything was slightly off, his belongings having been tampered with ever so slightly. He knew this was Jesse’s doing as he was the only person who ever came into his room although how he did it was beyond Gabriel. He never asked though, for that was one of the reasons Jesse was his chosen one; his protégé. Joking aside, he knew the kid was skilled, possibly more so than himself.

Part of him was happy to be back, couldn’t wait to sleep in his own bed. He was ready to pass out but there was the other part of his mind that was trying to drag him down, trying to remind him of the workload waiting for him when he would inevitably wake up again. 

He just… wanted it all to stop right now but time waited for no man, and right now was no exception. Just as he took a step towards the bed, a loud bang on the door made him flinch. Who would it be? The director? Probably not. Ana? Potentially, but he doubted she would be here to discuss anything fun. Jack? Most likely, but again, he would probably be armed with a bouquet of paperwork.

There was no way he was getting dressed. Whoever was on the other side, they would be seeing him for who he was right now. A tired man who just wanted to relax. 

He fumbled slightly as he took hold of his keycard before tapping the security console with it, a small sound of relief escaping his mouth as the door slid open revealing the only person he could be honest with about how completely obliterated he felt. He didn’t bother to put on a smile; didn’t even attempt to change how exhausted his face looked. Instead he threw his cardkey to the side and reached up to rub his chin with the palm of his hand.

“Jesse, I’m… really…” He started, unable to find the words he wanted as he stared at his protégé, visually taking him in. No uniform; no stupid cowboy hat. All he wore was a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt that had a screenprint of a classic western film on it. Oh, and a pair of socks with holes in them. Of course, why would anyone wear shoes on a military base? Gabriel found himself scoffing, a weak smile on his lips. “I need to get you some new socks too.”

Jesse laughed and shrugged, raising his foot a little to wiggle the exposed big toe. “Nah, these still got some wear in ‘em. A hole ain’t always a bad thing,” he said with a wink as he walked into the room, never one to wait for an invitation.

“If you’re here for a continuation of earlier,” he mumbled, letting the door slide shut as he moved over to the bed and took a seat on the edge, his towel straining around his waist. He knew he was still damp but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d had a lot worse than wet sheets in the past two months. “I don’t think… Jesse. Look, I’m not in a great place right now,” he admitted, watching Jesse out of the corner of his eye as he meandered around the room. 

“I know, I can tell,” Jesse drawled, his fingers gliding along the edges of each piece of furniture he came into contact with before he turned back and made his way over to Gabriel, his body swaying in a way that usually made Gabe’s cock twitch but he didn’t have to pull back his towel to know he was softer than raw dough. 

“What do you want then?” He asked, his hand finding the back of his own neck, rubbing it as he looked at Jesse, unable to take his eyes off him. He had been away from him for too long. He needed Jesse, needed to touch him but his body was begging for sleep; for rest. 

Jesse was silent until he was in front of Gabriel. “C’mon, don’t be like that. I care about you, Gabe. I wish you’d understand that,” Jesse mumbled, his hands finding Gabriel’s face as he spoke and he found himself leaning into the touch, his palms always so soft despite the hard work. 

He found himself tugging at Jesse’s t-shirt, lifting it up to expose his stomach. Was it hairier than before? More toned? Less toned? He couldn’t remember, his memory was flagging and he needed to familiarise himself with it again. “Take it off,” he whispered, his hands sliding to Jesse’s waistband, pulling him forward just enough for him to get a waft of his natural scent. He had missed that; missed it so much. Yes, he would complain about it constantly, tell Jesse he needed to shower more often, wash his clothes but he had longed for that familiar smell. 

Jesse silently complied with Gabriel’s request, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor as soon as he had asked. He knew he could request anything from Jesse and he would comply, but he never took advantage of him; could never bring himself to. He knew what people thought about him, but as long as Jesse didn’t think like that then he didn’t care. 

“What do you want, boss?” Jesse asked as Gabriel pressed his forehead against his navel, his hands tugging Jesse’s pants down, revealing the same disgusting boxers he had been wearing before he had gone away. Typical; probably Jesse’s idea of a joke but he didn’t have the energy to acknowledge them verbally. He pulled his face away from Jesse, giving himself to take in the vision before him. 

He wanted to tell him how much he did mean to him but words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. His body was still failing to react,his dick heavy against his thigh, a constant reminder of the stress crushing him. He had so much to be doing, he couldn’t waste time doing this. He knew he should have been sleeping or working but….

Leaning forward, he pressed his mouth against Jesse’s cock, mouthing at it through the fabric of his boxers. They were disgusting; the smell pungent but it was all just so Jesse that he couldn't help but revel in it. He burrowed his nose into the nooks and crannies created in the fabric by Jesse's hardening dick, new pockets of scent being dispersed as his cock twitched to life. He needed this.

“Lemme take care of you, Gabe,” Jesse mumbled and Gabriel found himself sighing into his crotch as hands found his damp hair, fingers rubbing his scalp in a way that made him let out a soft moan. No one had ever really offered him anything, assuming he was the kind of man that liked to take charge and call the shots. 

He had always ended up gravitating towards that role in all aspects of his life because it was expected of him but Jesse had never assumed, had just let Gabriel do as he pleased. Up until now, however, he had always been the more dominant force due to his preconceived notions about roles but now? Now he was tired. 

Tired of everything. Tired of being in control, of having to make decisions. The weight of this made his shoulders heavy and he soon found himself leaning away from Jesse, his back hitting the mattress a moment later. His body had made up its mind already. 

“Jus’ relax boss, I'm gonna take real good care of you,” Jesse drawled as he awkwardly toed off his socks and pushed Gabriel's legs open, sliding between them in a fluid motion, their bodies soon pressed together as Gabriel sunk into the mattress, his towel coming undone easily.

His own cock was still soft, knew it was the stress causing him to lag but he could feel Jesse hard against him, youth and enthusiasm on his side. He was flattered that Jesse was so eager all the time, flattered that someone like Jesse could want him over and over again despite how often he gave him the cold shoulder regarding anything other than sex.

He let Jesse cover his mouth with his own, responding in his usual way. He was never one for kissing, found it juvenile but Jesse needed it and he could never deny him anything physically so he always found himself allowing it. If Jesse could tell, he never mentioned the lacklustre way his tongue would respond to his overly ambitious one. 

But Jesse wasn’t here for kissing, he made that much clear as he ground down against Gabriel, a soft moan passing between their open mouths before the younger man ducked his head down to Gabriel’s neck, attaching his lips to his column. Again, Gabriel wanted to respond, wanted his body to jump to life but whilst he felt his skin heat up, his flaccid cock didn’t even twitch. Normally Jesse’s naive, sloppy kisses got his gears turning but not today. 

“Turn over,” Jesse said against Gabriel’s lips, and he found himself frowning in response. 

“So you think you’re gonna fuck me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he pulled away from Jesse. 

“Nah, I’m gonna give you a massage, that’s all,” Jesse responded with a happy tone, sliding off the bed, his slightly frantic grinding forgotten as he rummaged around in the nightstand and Gabriel couldn’t even begin to argue. A massage sounded so good right now. They had never indulged in something so… basic yet so intimate.

He gave Jesse’s body one last look, a small smile on his face as he gazed at his erection bouncing in the thin fabric as he searched for something in the drawer. He wondered if Jesse would be able to hold back, wondered what exactly he was planning on doing with that but he pushed it from his mind as he rolled over, the towel still under him. He didn’t need to tell him that he would let him fuck him; didn’t need Jesse getting ahead of himself.

Folding his arms under his head, he looked off to the side, sighing. He wondered if Jesse would mind if he fell asleep because he had to admit to himself that it was a very real possibility. He couldn’t bring himself to say it though, didn’t want Jesse to get the wrong idea, didn’t want him to think that he didn’t want this. No, fuck, he wanted this; wanted to feel Jesse’s hands on him; wanted that kind of attention.

Lost in his own mind, he barely noticed as Jesse closed the drawer and climbed onto the bed. “Trust me here, you’re in good hands,” Jesse said as Gabriel felt a weight on either side of his body, followed by a warm liquid dripping down his back, between his shoulder blades. The oil must have been something they had bought to try, probably some kind of multipurpose lube. It might have been the edible one, but Gabriel couldn’t remember exactly what he had in his nightstand.

As Jesse spread the oil across his back, Gabriel had to admit that even that felt good. He was so touch starved that the smallest brush of their skin together put him on edge. He shifted, pressing his ass up into Jesse’s crotch. The kid was rock hard, but he knew his own was still flagging. He wanted to do something for him; knew he deserved it even though he said he wanted to take care of Gabriel. He wanted to do something for him; always did, always would do. He longed to see Jesse happy even though he knew he couldn’t provide it long term.

Jesse let out a small cough before he placed both his hands, palm first, onto Gabe’s back and he couldn’t hold back the small gasp as Jesse dragged both of his hands downwards, his fingers feeling out his vertebrae, the smell of the oil filling the air. Raspberry. Slightly artificial, but it was pleasant enough. The only downside was that it hid Jesse’s natural musk, the scent Gabriel had grown to know and love. 

Of all the skills Gabriel had recognised in Jesse, this was a real oversight. Jesse’s hands moved down his body in ways Gabriel couldn’t even have imagined. He’d always known he was good with his hands, hell, he’d had the proof many times when they couldn’t find more than a secluded corner. As his fingers pushed back up to his shoulders and pressed in just near his neck, he realised he had been missing out on something in a big way. He was always so quick to take care of Jesse, to do things for the other man that he forgot that Jesse had a life before him, and that he might have acquired some very delicious skills - ones he had never taken advantage of. 

“You got all these tense muscles, boss,” Jesse drawled, and Gabe found himself nodding, a long sigh escaping his lips as Jesse’s hands moved in circles across his shoulders, his fingers briefly moving to his biceps before they retreated to his lower back again. “You really gotta take better care of yourself.”

“Mhm, but why? I got you to do that, right?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder with the smallest smile, enough to make Jesse’s eyes go wide, his face red and his jaw slack. He couldn’t help it; he wasn’t an overly affectionate man and he was aware of the effect he had when he did show such a thing. Making Jesse flustered was one of his favourite hobbies. 

Jesse blew the air from his mouth upwards, his hair flying out of his face. “Well, shit, you got me there,” he mumbled, leaning down to press a kiss on his shoulder as he pushed his thumbs into his back, his fingers splayed out and stroking the skin gently. That felt…. Too good. He felt his cock twitch as his hands slid lower, one finger sliding south enough to press against the top of his asscrack. 

But it was the briefest of moments, then Jesse’s hands were once again on his back, sliding along his spine. He had thought, assumed, that it was going that way. After all, ‘taking care of him’ was what that meant… wasn’t it? Or had he really put Jesse off by saying he wasn’t feeling it. He thought it would just make the kid try harder. He could still feel proof of Jesse’s arousal resting against his ass, so there was no way he wasn't thinking about Gabriel like that. 

Gabriel stretched his legs out, parting them only slightly, just enough to tease Jesse with a glimpse of his hole if the kid bothered to look down but he could feel his eyes burning into his back; could tell that Jesse had frozen up slightly. Jesse was usually quick to work out when something was going on in a mission but right now, the kid seemed oblivious. 

Had he scared him off? Did he think Gabriel no longer wanted him? It had only been two months, just because he couldn’t get hard at the drop of a hat right now didn’t mean he didn’t still want to fuck him; be fucked by him. It was just that he had literally just returned and his body was still on the mission. He needed to relax, and Jesse was doing a good enough job making him comfortable that he thought that maybe, just maybe he could actually get it up. 

“Jesse,” he whispered, pushing his ass backwards slightly. He wasn’t going to push it any further, wasn’t here to guide Jesse into his body. Either he wanted to fuck him or he didn’t.

He was about to give up. Get up or fall asleep. Both seemed more appealing than having Jesse giving him some kind of massage that could be shown during a PG movie that would only frustrate Jesse in the long run. That was, until he felt a warm liquid slide down his crack, pooling slightly at his hole. A soft pad brushed over the base of his spine before he ran south, sliding between his cheeks and he found himself shifting to allow it. A thumb? No, he felt it press against him, willing his body to open for it. A finger, definitely a finger. 

He pressed his face into the pillow as he relaxed, letting the finger easily slip inside. Jesse didn’t know how long it had been for him, could have guessed but hadn’t yet. It had been… far too long, in Gabriel’s mind. That didn’t mean he didn’t play with himself though. He may have been a fully grown man but he had needs, needs he couldn’t always admit to his lover, so he often found himself knuckles deep inside his ass during lonely nights. Not to mention his shower moments ago, but that had been more out of necessity than pleasure. He had just wanted… a reaction.

Another finger pushed inside him with ease, the amount of oil dripping down him only making the process faster than usual, or well… Gabriel knew he was far from a virgin in any way, but he’d like to assume his body wasn’t so used up that Jesse could go from naught to fist in a few seconds. 

“Get on with it,” he found himself mumbling, his face on fire as he felt himself being stretched open, as he could feel Jesse’s eyes examining him with curiosity. He didn’t want to tell Jesse that he had fingered his own ass minutes before he invaded his room, the kid didn’t need to know that. He didn’t want to make Jesse feel inadequate in any way.

“Hey, I don’t wanna rush nothin’. I’m doin’ this to make you feel good, an’ trust me, I’m gonna just…” His voice trailed off just enough to pique Gabriel’s interest, and after a moment of holding his breath in anticipation, he felt Jesse’s fingers press inside him, rub his prostate. “Take it… real slow,” he drawled, his voice thick as he leaned over Gabe, his fingers lazily sliding in and out. 

Gabriel found himself shaking his head, a staggered moan falling from his lips as Jesse leaned over, pumping fingers inside Gabriel, a smirk on his face as his other hand smoothed over his skin, unable to resist slapping his cheek playfully before he pulled them open. Then he was upright again, his eyes staring down at his fingers, watching as he twisted them in ways that made Gabriel’s toes curl; the words falling from his mouth gibberish in response

“Mmm, boss, I think I could play with your ass all day,” Jesse said in a soft voice, knowingly hooking his fingers as he pulled them out, his fingers prying Gabriel open as his body shook from the treatment. “You just… you got a good ass.”

Gabriel would have laughed if he could, but every time he opened his mouth, a small moan escaped and that just encouraged Jesse to press down inside him again, almost forcing his cock to harden. Did he know that he simply had to fuck him now, that his fingers wouldn’t be enough? Did Jesse understand how high his standards were when it came to letting men fuck him?

Well, how high they used to be. He never imagined he’d be face first on a bed, letting some smelly brat finger his ass. He never thought he could ever want such a thing, but here he was, grabbing the blanket under him as Jesse pulled out his fingers and spread his ass wider. Gabriel thought he was just examining him; humiliating him in a way to mimic how his boss acted during sex but no. After a moment, Gabriel found himself letting out a strangled moan as he felt Jesse’s wet tongue lap at his asshole, the tip occasionally delving in, just enough to make Gabriel grunt and spread his legs wider, his cock sliding under himself just enough for Jesse’s tongue to lick downwards, investigating Gabriel’s revealed balls and dick. If it was one thing Jesse loved to do, it was investigate and inspect Gabriel’s body with his tongue and dammit, he was good at it, even Gabriel gave him that. 

“You want me to fuck you?” Jesse asked, running his tongue around Gabe’s hole as he pushed his two index fingers inside and stretched them, holding him open enough for Jesse to spit inside him. Gabriel knew there was enough lube, knew Jesse also knew that, but there was something about having Jesse spit in him that made his dick twitch; his insides twitch, and from the way Jesse chuckled from behind him, he knew Gabriel was enjoying it. “You gotta say it, boss. On account of your dick not being fully hard, I just ain’t sure.”

Gabriel grunted against the pillow, his hips sore from holding his body up, trying to stop it from shaking. Jesse’s mouth always felt so fucking good. He was still tired, but his body was gathering a second wind. He could say that he wanted this; wanted Jesse to fuck him but words were still hard to form.

“Just do what you have to do,” Gabriel mumbled, and suddenly, Jesse’s chest was pressed against his back, the tip of his cock pressing against his hole, teasing. 

“That ain’t what I wanna hear. I want you to say it,” Jesse whispered, placing his chin on Gabriel’s shoulder, his tongue soon finding the shell of his ear. “I want you to say it. I want you to tell me that you wanna get fucked by a lowlife like me.”

Gabriel raised his head, turning it slightly to look at Jesse, his lower lip clasped between his teeth as he breathed through his nose, his body quivering each time Jesse’s blunt head tapped against his prepared hole. “McCree…”

“C’mon, just tell me boss, tell me you’re desperate to get fucked by your little protégé,” Jesse said as he ran a hand along Gabriel’s side, lingering on the waist as his other gripped his own cock, purposely pressing the tip in just enough to have Gabriel let out a gasp. “Boss, I just want you to say it, that you want me to fuck you.”

Huffing, he tried again to push back, to get Jesse further inside but to no avail. He would have to say it, he would actually have to say the words to Jesse. That he needed something from him. 

“Jesse,” he rasped out, turning his head slightly, his tongue trying desperately to wet his lips. “I need you to fuck me,” he managed to get out, his throat sore as he formed the words. He felt like he was suffocating on the atmosphere in the room, so much so that he didn’t realise he was being rewarded for speaking. 

He knew he was losing his mind, lost in a fog of lust. Slowly, he felt Jesse fill him up but yet again, he stopped short. Gabriel knew Jesse’s dick better than he knew his own, he’d know when it was all the way in.He was holding back. 

“C’mon boss,” Jesse said, his voice low and smooth. “Talk sweet to me as I fuck you. Tell me how long you’ve dreamed about taking my big, thick dick… Tell me about how much you’ve longed for me to fuck you into your mattress…” 

Gabriel turned his head, pressing it back into his arms as he rocked his body backwards, hands stopping him from fully taking all of Jesse’s length. He was growing frustrated, his body aching for the fucking Jesse was dangling in front of him more than it ached for sleep. “Jesse, just… fuck me. I want you to fuck me, I need it. Just…” He took in a deep breath, once again turning his head. He knew how he looked; knew his face was red and sweaty; knew he looked beyond wrecked but from the way Jesse gazed at him, maybe the kid wasn’t ready for such a look. Playing to his advantage, he blinked slowly, his breath shaky as he exhaled. “Please....” 

Jesse took a moment, a dazed look on his face as he clearly processed what Gabriel had asked for; no, begged for. Gabriel begged for no man or woman, he always felt he was above it, should have people begging him but Jesse was special. He knew he had fallen for him, couldn’t deny it and he prayed he didn’t let it slip in the heat of the moment. Admitting he wanted, no, needed Jesse was risky enough. 

Then Jesse’s face was buried against the back of his neck, his hands gripping Gabriel’s hips as he inched himself in, letting out a long moan against Gabriel, their bodies flush against each other. 

“Fuck,” Gabriel managed to spit out, pressing his forehead down and tilting his chin away from his arms, enough for him to breath and let out a staggered gasp, his body shaking as it adjusted to the intrusion. Ha, intrusion. He wanted it; his body had wanted it. He always wondered what it would be liked to be fucked by Jesse, had always wanted it but could never bring himself to ask, presumed it would take something away from their relationship. Jesse seemed to like the official power imbalance of their relationship; often preferred to amp it up during their bedroom time. Gabriel had always appreciated it, but it had left him usually confined to a more dominant role. 

Gabriel’s thoughts were once again interrupted as Jesse pulled back, his hands on Gabriel’s shoulders, pushing him down as he started to rock against him, his cock pressing deep inside. He let his own face plant into the mattress as Jesse started to fuck him, his cock sliding out just enough for Gabriel to feel empty before it slammed back inside. He felt Jesse’s fingers dig into his shoulders as he held him still, his hips snapping against his ass as he buried himself in Gabriel over and over again, trying to find the right pace and Gabriel was happy to just lie there as he got into a rhythm

It had been much too long since this had last happened. Had it always felt this good? Or was it simply because he was doing this with Jesse?

Gabriel tilted his head back as Jesse pushed his dick inside once again, letting out a long groan as he did so. Gabriel found himself shuddering beneath him, his hands reaching out for purchase on the foot of the bed but it was just out of reach. He quickly grabbed onto the sheet to still himself as Jesse started to leisurely thrust in and out of him, taking a more casual approach; a more Jesse approach. He could picture Jesse now, his body glistening with sweat, his muscles flexing, his entire form working hard but he would most definitely have the same idiotic grin on his lips. 

He shoved his face back into the pillow, his own hot breath suffocating him as he panted heavily, his body rubbing against the pillow beneath him. He wasn’t hard before, he knew this, but now… now he felt something awakening inside him as Jesse’s hands gripped his ass and spread his cheeks open. He didn’t need to look behind him to know that Jesse was watching himself fuck Gabriel’s tight hole, and just knowing the brat was watching himself wreck him was enough to get his gears going slowly. 

“God, I wish you fucking knew how good you felt,” Jesse moaned, running a thumb around Gabriel’s stretched hole before he slid his hands to Gabe’s thighs. “I ain’t never been able to really imagine how good this would feel. Like, I know your hands, your lips... “ Jesse let out a sigh, snapping his hips as he bent down to press his forehead between Gabriel’s shoulder blades. “I know your thighs… Even your armpit that one time. Ain’t never thought you’d let me do this to you, though. Always thought you thought it to be beneath you.”

Gabriel shook his head, lifting it enough to take in a deep breath of fresh air, or as fresh as it could be. The atmosphere was pure sex and sweat, oxygen had clearly left room.

“I been imaginin’ this for so long,” Jesse whispered, kissing his way along Gabriel’s shoulder until he could rest his chin there, his eyes fixed on the side of Gabe’s face. “Tell me it feels good,” he said in a low voice, his fingers digging into Gabriel’s waist as he slowly rolled his hips, moving his cock just enough to tease Gabe. 

Gabriel knew the kid didn’t need to be told this; knew Jesse wasn’t that stupid. He knew Jesse just wanted to hear him say it; admit that he was doing something right for once. A quick slide of a hand under him would confirm that yes, Jesse was doing a fine fucking job, but Jesse wanted to hear it; needed to. 

He buried his face into the pillow again, needing to be away from Jesse’s intense gaze, and as soon as he did that, Jesse’s chin disappeared from his shoulder and he found himself being moved. His legs were pushed open more, his hips dragged up and even though his face was still firmly planted against the pillow, the rest of his body was higher and Jesse didn’t spare a second in using the new position to his advantage. He spread Gabriel’s ass wide, spitting lewdly against his hole before he lined his cock up again, pushing the head inside, pulling it out a second later.

Gabriel knew Jesse was staring at how his body reacted, could tell that when Jesse pushed the tip of his dick in again and pulled it out, he was watching his asshole twitching with need. And fuck, how mighty that need was. He wanted Jesse back inside him, filling him to the point of overflowing. 

Pushing back, he let out a shaky breath as he felt Jesse’s erection slide back inside him, nudging him in all the right places but it was short lived. Jesse’s hand rested on his hip, stopping him. 

“C’mon Gabe, just want to know that I’m doin’ it right,” Jesse mumbled, his thumb pulling one of Gabe’s cheeks so he could stare down at his cock, halfway inside Gabriel. 

“Fuck,” Gabriel whispered, turning his face, his lower lip dragging against his arm as he willed his head to move but his body was slowly starting to disobey his mind. All his body wanted was to be fucked; it had been starved for far too long and now it was finally getting the nourishment it deserved. Of course, it was being greedy, he couldn’t blame it. “Jesse, please… Fuck me... It feels so… fucking amazing,” he mumbled out, his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth as Jesse pushed himself all the way in again. 

“Mmm, I thought so,” Jesse commented, gripping one of Gabriel’s thighs with his hand, pushing it to the side, spreading Gabriel wider on his dick as he hunched himself over and started thrusting into him fast; ruthlessly even.

Gabriel wouldn’t normally say that Jesse was a speedster in any sense, he was always taking his time, but right now, the assault on his ass had him gasping for air, his lungs unable to regulate his breathing as Jesse hammered into him, his fingers digging into his sides as he held him still. He knew he would probably have bruises there come morning, but they could just join all the others he had picked up during the mission. 

He knew he was solid as a rock now, his cock sliding against the soft fabric of the towel beneath him but Jesse’s attention was elsewhere and the fact that Jesse was focusing just on fucking him made it feel that much better. He revelled in the fact that Jesse was pounding into him, chasing his own orgasm instead of caring about Gabriel’s. Jesse was smart enough to know that Gabriel was living for each thrust; for each moan that fell from his lips. He wished he had the energy to amp it up, urge Jesse along with words, actually participate instead of lying there and just taking it, but he was completely gone. All he could do was lie there, panting and moaning softly to himself as he felt his dick throb, his balls ache.

“Fuck, don’t stop,” Gabriel whispered against his own skin, his body shaking as Jesse’s hands spread his ass open again.

“Ain’t gonna, boss, just fuckin’... Shit, you feel so fuckin’ good,” Jesse croaked, his voice raspy as he grunted under his breath, letting go of Gabriel’s ass to slap his hands onto his back. Pressing down, Jesse let out a grumble before he adjusted himself, taking a moment, long enough to let Gabriel relax before he started to suddenly pummel away, his whole body pushing Gabriel as he fucked him, his movements more rough than before. 

And that was enough to have Gabriel gripping the bedsheets tighter, his knuckles turning white as he tried to steady himself; tried to keep himself on the bed as Jesse continued to fuck him. He shoved his face back down against the mattress, panting against it as he let loose, his hands pulling at the bedsheets as he reached his climax, spilling his load against the bed, the wetness spreading as Jesse drove into him, forcing his body to slide up and down the bed.

If Jesse felt him release; if he knew, he didn’t show it; didn’t let up. Gabriel shook his head, raising his head enough to let out a weak moan, trying to look at Jesse but failing. His head felt too heavy and he found himself face down again. He knew it was cliché to say someone had rocked his world, but right now, he felt like a snowglobe that Jesse was manhandling and despite the fact he had already came, he couldn’t help but relish the feeling of Jesse fucking him. He wanted more, wanted him deeper. 

Sliding his hand to his side, he gripped his leg behind the knee, pulling it towards himself. Jesse slipped for a moment, his cock sliding out with another wet noise before he grabbed his dick again, slapping it against Gabriel's hole before he roughly shoved it back in, his hands gripping Gabriel’s body as he started to pound into him again. The sound of skin slapping against skin was deafening to Gabriel and he found himself trying to drown it out with his own moans, unaware of his own volume until Jesse was leaning down over him again.

“You sound so fuckin’ sexy boss, you’re gonna make me cum,” Jesse whispered, pressing his forehead against Gabriel’s back, his breath burning against his skin. “So fuckin’ tight… So fuckin’ hot…” Jesse’s voice was ragged, his motions more sporadic with every thrust, and Gabriel couldn’t do anything; couldn’t even respond. All he could do was let Jesse continue to fuck him; let Jesse wring him dry. His orgasm had come and gone, but his cock continued to leak. Maybe he had climaxed again, he didn’t know, couldn’t think straight. He felt so good; too good. 

Everything was so bright despite the fact his eyes were closed. It was like every nerve in his body was being stimulated and all he could do was lie there and experience it. He couldn’t participate. 

He wasn’t sure if he had passed out at some point, drifted off, but suddenly, Jesse’s breath was hot against his ear, his voice choking out words that didn’t register with him.

“What…?” He grumbled, his fingers digging into his leg as he held himself open. 

“I said, can I finish... inside?” Jesse asked, his voice unsure and Gabriel couldn’t help but find it endearing. He assumed Jesse was going to just do as he pleased, but it was flattering that he would ask. 

He swallowed hard, turning his face just enough to speak. His mouth was bone dry and he found himself choking on words before he got any out. “Fuck… Jesse, inside, fill me up,” he managed to get out before Jesse’s hands were on his shoulders again, pushing him down as he fucked into him at a punishing speed. How Jesse had this much energy was beyond Gabriel and it was almost a relief when Jesse let out a long moan, his body jolting against him as he spluttered his way through his own orgasm. 

Gabriel had seen Jesse orgasm more times than he could remember, but he couldn’t stop himself. With the small amount of energy he had left, he turned his head just in time to see Jesse’s mouth open, a soft whimper escaping his lips as he threw his head back and stopped moving, his hands sliding to Gabriel’s hips to rub his skin. “Ah, fuck, fuck boss…” He whispered, his tongue darting out as he tried to regulate his own breathing, and all Gabriel could do was lie there and stare at the perfect man behind him. 

Perfect to him, anyway, not that he would ever tell Jesse that. 

“Your ass… fuck… I mean, you… you’re just…” Jesse wasn’t often lost for words, but right now, Gabriel could see him struggling. 

He remained still as Jesse pulled out of him, his ass aching as it was finally empty. He didn’t want to know what kind of mess Jesse had made; didn’t want to feel for himself. 

Unexpectedly, he felt Jesse tug at the towel beneath him, and without thinking, he managed to raise his hips just enough to let it be dragged out from under him. It wasn’t until he felt the soft fabric brushing against his hole did he realise that Jesse was attempting to clean him up. At the same time, he realised that he himself had made a mess… a mess on the towel Jesse was holding. 

Before he could get up and grab it from him, Jesse let out a chortle and slipped off the bed, moving to the end where Gabriel’s head was. This was it; Jesse wasn’t going to let him live this down. He was going to mock him and be unbearable for a long time. He knew part of the reason he hadn’t let Jesse do this was because he didn’t want to deal with a cocky Jesse; an arrogant Jesse. Most people tended to push it too far after they had fucked him. 

“Boss,” Jesse started, crouching down beside the bed, his flaccid cock lewdly bouncing in Gabriel’s line of sight. “I’m so fuckin’ happy that you enjoyed yourself, you have no idea what it means to me…” Jesse mumbled, reaching out and pushing Gabriel’s sweaty hair from his forehead. “I was worried the whole time that you weren’t havin’ a good time… but by the looks of it, you had a mighty fine time!” 

Gabriel cleared his throat, shaking his head. “Shut up,” he grumbled, mortified that Jesse wasn’t mocking him, that he was instead, being a little more patronising than Gabriel was comfortable with but he would let it slide. His body was begging for sleep now, new aches appearing to join the old ones. He should have insisted Jesse was gentle, but he doubted it would have made much difference. Jesse was always like an overactive labrador during sex and after two months… It was to be expected. 

“Nah, I jus’ want you to know how happy you make me, Gabe.”

Groaning, Gabriel rolled over, shuffling to the edge of the bed, his ass throbbing. He wasn’t going to try and stand up; knew his legs wouldn’t hold him right now. Instead, he perched on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. “Yeah, that’s nice kid,” he whispered, rubbing his face slightly. “Don’t let this go to your head.”

Jesse sauntered around to him, forever shameless in his naked form. “I ain’t gonna, I mean, no big deal, ain’t like the man of my dreams just fuckin’ let me make love to him or nothin’,” Jesse said proudly, padding across the room and into the bathroom before Gabriel could respond.

Man of his dreams? Make love? He shook his head. No, he couldn’t let Jesse think like this. Nothing good would come from Jesse falling for him. Their jobs; their roles. They couldn’t do this. It would only end with both of them being hurt more than was necessary. He had already accepted that he wasn’t going to emerge from this without pain, but Jesse didn’t have to be destroyed by this too. Emotions and feelings… in their line of work, they would only get in the way. Jesse had a good future here if he could concentrate a little better. 

This was supposed to only be fun. It was supposed to be a way for them to both let off steam. They weren’t supposed to fall… He shook his head. He wasn’t going to think about it. 

Jesse returned a moment later with two glasses of water, extending one to Gabriel, who gladly took it and guzzled it down in an instant. “Man, I’m jus’... I’m on cloud nine. I feel like… I jus’ am real happy you finally let me fuck you, I feel it’s like, real strong for our relationship that we’re equal an’-”

“We don’t have a relationship, not a romantic one anyway. We just fuck, Jesse,” Gabriel grumbled, licking his lips as he set the glass on the nightstand. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

Jesse gave him a look he knew all too well. The hurt expression that he held on his face made Gabriel’s heart sink but he couldn’t let Jesse think they were an item. They had to keep it casual. 

“Boss, c’mon, we’re more than you think we are. I know you ain’t lettin’ jus’ anyone fuck you like that, an’ I know you ain’t goin’ around givin’ everyone gifts,” Jesse said with a frown, placing his glass beside Gabriel’s before he started to redress himself, pulling on his boxers before he spoke again. “An’ the way you kiss me, it’s… y’know? Don’t act like this with me, I know you ain’t as unfeelin’ as you act with me. I know you like me, and fuck it, I like you real bad. Hell, I might even-”

Gabriel slammed his fist down on the nightstand, the glasses clinking together from the force. “Don’t fucking say it, Jesse. Don’t you dare fucking say it.” Despite how badly his heart yearned to hear it, he couldn’t deal with Jesse saying that. Not now; not here; not ever. He didn’t think he was undeserving of love, no, but the complications that would come from it… He couldn’t deal with that on top of everything else, couldn’t deal with the constant stress of worrying that something would happen to Jesse. He already felt that, didn’t need it amplified because he dared to reciprocate; dared to be happy. 

“Why the fuck can’t I say what I feel? Why are you bein’ like this? Why are ya always like this?” Jesse asked, grabbing his sweatpants and pulling them up, and Gabriel wished he could rewind to the point where Jesse was stood before him like this. He shouldn’t have let him fuck him, shouldn’t have let Jesse see that side of him. He should have just continued to play the hardass commander. Things were so much easier like that. 

“Jesse, you don’t know what the fuck you feel. You’re young,” he grumbled, shaking his head again, fingers finding his temples to keep a headache at bay. “

“I ain’t fuckin’ stupid, Gabe. I know what I feel an’ I know how I feel ‘bout you, so quit talkin’ shit. You were gone two months an’ all I could do was sit around an’ wait for you to come back. I was terrified that something had happened to you, but ain’t nobody tellin’ me nothin’. I was at Ana’s office every mornin’ asking if you had touched base,” Jesse said as he pulled his t-shirt back on, scoffing as he realised it was the wrong way. “Listen, I know you think that because of how super covert our jobs are, you can’t fall in love with me, but it’s fuckin’ bullshit. You think spies don’t have boyfriends? Seriously, Gabe, maybe you’re the one who should grow up.”

Gabriel frowned as he watched Jesse pull his shirt round the right way, his expression quickly turning into a scowl. “If you want a boyfriend, go fuck someone else. Hell, you say you haven’t fucked anyone since I was gone, but how do I know that? Maybe you and Jack went at it? He always did like my toys.”

“Oh, so I’m a toy now?” Jesse spat, glaring at Gabriel as he picked up his socks, not bothering to put them on. “Fuck you, Gabe. I ain’t fucked no one, an’ besides, if I was gonna, I’d fuck Genji because at least he fuckin’ ain’t ashamed to be nice to me. He’s a fucking weird cyborg thing an’ y’know, I think he’s got more feelings than you do. At least more respect for me than you do.”

Gabriel watched as Jesse made a move towards the door. He couldn’t let it end like this, he told himself that he should but he couldn’t do it. Without thinking, he got to his feet, instantly regretting it as he fell to the ground with a loud thud, the noise making Jesse stop in his tracks and come running back to his side. 

“Fuck boss, don’t be walkin’ around right now,” Jesse mumbled, crouching down beside him and grabbing his arm, forcing it around his shoulders. “After what I did to you, I’m surprised you’re even conscious,” Jesse said with a laugh, pulling Gabriel to his feet and like that, the heavy mood dissipated instantly and Gabriel couldn’t have been more relieved despite what his brain told him. 

“Don’t get cocky, kid,” Gabriel whispered as Jesse guided him back onto the bed. 

“Hey, c’mon, with the way you treat me, cocky is all I got.”

“What does that mean?” Gabriel asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked up at Jesse. He felt an overwhelming guilt bubbling up inside him. He needed to suppress it before he said something stupid; something foolish. 

Jesse shrugged and took a seat beside Gabriel on the bed. “I jus’... Gabe, I want you to know that if you don’t want me to, I won’t talk about my feelings or anythin’ like that. I would do anything to be by your side, and if that means bein’ your toy, then put me in a box and ship me to the local toy store because I’ll be anythin’ you need me to be. I jus’ need you to know that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

 _For now_ , Gabriel thought in his head. There were so many options for Jesse in the future, the kid just couldn’t see them yet. He reluctantly nodded, however, his hand moving to Jesse’s thigh. “I just… need you to understand that we can’t be anything official, so please,” Gabriel said, his voice straining. “Stop asking for things I can’t give you. I will do anything for you, physically… but emotionally, I can’t give you what you need. I don’t want to hurt you, Jesse.”

“You talk so much shit, boss,” Jesse said with a laugh, smiling at Gabriel. “But I’ll stop bringin’ it up. Keep it casual. Anythin’ is cool with me.”

“Anything?” Gabriel asked, unable to not crack a laugh. “Like fucking Genji? Is that cool?” His question was meant as a joke, but as he said it, he realised that he didn’t exactly know what he would do if Jesse did sleep with someone else. After all, it was he who wanted things to be like this so he knew he couldn’t complain but… if Jesse was with another… He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about this right now.

Jesse got to his feet, the silent understanding that he couldn’t stay the night forcing him to leave. Jesse often left reluctantly, often pushed it a little too close to dawn before going back to his own bunk but he had never failed to actually leave. Gabriel, for once, wished he could stay but he didn’t want to deal with the possibility that someone would see them emerge from his room together. 

“Well, never say never, y’know?” Jesse said with a wink, lingering at the door. “I’ll see you at breakfast. Maybe you’ll actually be there this time?”

Gabriel nodded at the keycard on the floor, watching as Jesse picked it up and held it to the security console. He wanted to say something; wanted to do something but he was completely spent. His body was fighting to stay away, and his mind was slowly failing. “Hey, Jesse,” he said as he moved to lie down in his bed. 

“Yes sir?”

“Boxers. Don’t wear those boxers ever again. They’re disgusting,” he mumbled as he adjusted his pillows before he finally put his head down, a blissful sigh escaping his lips as he sank into the softness. They held Jesse’s scent, probably hadn’t been cleaned since before he had left for the mission. He didn’t care, the smell was the most comforting thing he had right now.

“Of course, sir. I’ll make sure I got different ones on tomorrow.” Gabriel could hear the salute in his voice. “Sleep well, boss.”

Gabriel rubbed his face against the pillow, turning over as he heard the door slide shut, his room plunged into darkness. Once again, the only exception was the thin strip of light that dared to break in but he was too tired to even think about it; couldn’t bring himself to pay it any attention. It was just another one of those unavoidable things in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Since this was written after the second part, there are some conflicts but I tried to make it work. Anyway, this was long. Feel free to follow me on [tumblr](https://tordarroch.tumblr.com/)!


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